my life got about a thousand times better once i stopped censoring myself
and by censoring i don’t mean i suddenly embraced indiscriminate swearing; i mean i stopped trying to sugarcoat my past or my feelings; i stopped lying by omission; i stopped having guilty pleasures; i began unabashedly enjoying whatever i liked; i became very honest; i cut out of my life poisonous people and negative ideals, and i am so, so much happier for it
WHOEVER BUYS THIS FOR ME WINS MY ETERNAL LOVE
I OWN THIS
EVERY MORNING HE SAYS SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT HOW THE WORLD NEEDS YOU AND YOU HAVE TO GET UP
AND WHEN YOU PRESS THE BUTTON TO HUSH HIM HE SAYS “DEFTLY DONE, MADAM,” OR “IF IT’S NOT TOO FORWARD OF ME, THAT DID TICKLE, MADAM”
IT WAKES YOU UP WITH THE SOUND OF CHIRPING BIRDS BEFORE STEPHEN FRY’S VOICE
EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE ONE
THIS IS LIKE JARVIS.
A REAL JARVIS EXCEPT HE’S A CLOCK.